I have to let go.
Cause what I am holding onto is not giving me any answers.
In fact, it's just making me more confused.
I need to move on.
I need to move out.

When you know that you know who you love, you can't deny it. Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it. When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go Cos you know and you know that you know. When you feel in your skin in your bones and the hollow Of your heart, there's no way you can wait till tomorrow. When there isn't any doubt about it once you come this close Cos you know and you know that you know. You can feel love's around you like the sky 'round blue This is how love has found you, now you know what to do.

Tattoed in my mind

Baby you'll soon forget about all,or maybe you'll miss it like I do.One thing's for sure I'm on a doubt, spend too much time thinkin' of you. And I can't get you out of my dreams. Now I know that you're the dangerous kind. And your smile is tattooed on my mind. And I can't get you out of my dreams. Don't wanna write,I don't wanna call,I would not know what to say. It should be you. That's how I want it to be. Tell me you feel the same way

Over

i can't seem to write anything that isn't depressing or suicidal.
i want it to be over so badly.
and when it's over...
i will not start anything again.
too painful.
what for?
it's just going to be over when the other person says it's over.

Lost for words

I don't seem to have much inspiration these days.

Giving up?

I think I am slowly giving up hope on the fact that there is such a thing as the perfect partner.. the perfect man.
Perhaps near perfect.. or perfect enough for me is what I may need to settle for. But that's like saying I'm settling for second best.
I recall writing something along the lines of this..one of my very first enteries... and a year or so later.. I find myself still asking myself the same thing.
Is there one perfect person for every perfect being?
I met a random stranger today. We ate lunch together with a group of friends. And I respect her for her honestly and her strong attitude towards the sort of relationship issues she has faced. She was adamant about her belief that a certain type of men are cheaters, and always will be cheaters. I didn't want to believe, but when I thought back at the one and only sprint relationship I had with one of those men... they weren't exactly the best in providing a sense of security.
But now it makes me question...
Don't get me wrong. It's been something I have been thinking about for a while. It's something that.. has been bugging me for a while. The random lunch today just made me remember what has been a constant confusion in my head..
I also had an interesting conversation lastnight with a dear friend of mine.
I will try and recall. If I can't, I blame it on my tired body and half a bottle of white.
It's rather boring stuff.
It was about me.
That I should have plans for myself.
Plans that I want and want to pursue in. And plans I should definetly make happen if ever the opportunity arises. Doing something for myself. And not wait on others.
My friend is probably right. I have in some ways, become afraid to because unconsiously I am dependent. Dependent on a certain someone that spoke these promising words to me. But as the days, weeks, months.. years.. go by... those words are more distant than ever.
So, Is there one perfect person for every perfect being?

This was my reading..

So, I tried this color test quiz online and it's pretty accurate.. atleast for my current situation...for something as simple as picking colors that fits youir mood in order of... preference...
This was my reading....

You are trying to prove to others that nothing can really affect you. You are pretending to be stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure and indeed even superior to any form of weakness. As a result, more often than not, you unfortunately act with undue harshness or severity by adopting an autocratic and self-willed attitude.
Being a somewhat gentle, emotional and sensitive person, you are at this time experiencing a considerable amount of tension. What you really need is someone who can be close to you and to listen to what you have to say.
You honestly believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, but there seems to be no one around to give you the necessary reassurance and encouragement. You are egocentric. You believe that you are always 'right' - well maybe you are but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.
There is considerable amount of stress present in your life at this time and this is perhaps due to some considerable mental and physical frustration. There are various physical needs that are necessary for your well-being but whatever the reasons - mostly of your own making - your needs are not being fulfilled. We wonder why? You are under the impression that nobody seems to care for you. This predicament is most uncomfortable and it is because of this that you are experiencing far more stress than you feel you can cope with. You need to find a soul mate - someone who truly understands you and whose standards are as high as your own. As matters stand you would like to break away from the vicious cycle that you find yourself entrapped but this is easier said than done. You refuse to compromise with your opinions and essentially you are unable to resolve the situation because you are continually postponing the making of the necessary decision. You are stubborn but this should be no deterrent experiencing a happy life.
Overwork - be it mental stress or physical strain, you are completely worn out and this depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel disappointed with your obvious lack of energy and powerless to do anything about it. You are angry with yourself and this frustration shows. You are contradictory and argumentative and feel helpless to change the situation at this time. Take a break - even if it is only for a few days - allow yourself to breath, to unwind - you'll feel much better for it. Then trust and let go.

Be strong little one.

A sad day.
Can't decide which is more tragic, if you never got the chance to meet your parents or the fact that you got to, but than it was taken away.
Nothing can be more painful than losing a loved one. I won't say I know but I do feel. Because I have loved and loss in so many different ways.
Someone I know, who's mother passed away. This someone is someone very special, because this person gives more than takes. Helps, more than is helped.
Albeit I didn't know this person for very long, a special sort of friendship developed, just before we had to be apart. I would miss this person in a different way, other people would miss this person.
Because, everyone gives in their own little ways, sometimes their mysterious ways... and this one, very unconditionally.
So, what do you say to someone who has lost a parent...I believe a lot of people are loss for words...
When we went to pay our respect that night, you could feel this person's pain, the little strength of what's left that he tried to gather, to cover up for the pain and lost he'd just gone through, and will be a while. Time. Only time will heel.
So, we got up and to leave. I did what I felt was right, and it felt right. A hug to take away alittle bit of that pain. To show that, they are still loved, and that it is not their fault, that it is not anyone to blame... but life.. is such...
I don't know what else to say...
As this person says goodbye to his mother, he turn's a year older...
Just give me a sign that you are going to be ok.. today.. tomorrow and whenever...