Friday, March 09, 2007

Giving up?

I think I am slowly giving up hope on the fact that there is such a thing as the perfect partner.. the perfect man.
Perhaps near perfect.. or perfect enough for me is what I may need to settle for. But that's like saying I'm settling for second best.
I recall writing something along the lines of this..one of my very first enteries... and a year or so later.. I find myself still asking myself the same thing.
Is there one perfect person for every perfect being?
I met a random stranger today. We ate lunch together with a group of friends. And I respect her for her honestly and her strong attitude towards the sort of relationship issues she has faced. She was adamant about her belief that a certain type of men are cheaters, and always will be cheaters. I didn't want to believe, but when I thought back at the one and only sprint relationship I had with one of those men... they weren't exactly the best in providing a sense of security.
But now it makes me question...
Don't get me wrong. It's been something I have been thinking about for a while. It's something that.. has been bugging me for a while. The random lunch today just made me remember what has been a constant confusion in my head..
I also had an interesting conversation lastnight with a dear friend of mine.
I will try and recall. If I can't, I blame it on my tired body and half a bottle of white.
It's rather boring stuff.
It was about me.
That I should have plans for myself.
Plans that I want and want to pursue in. And plans I should definetly make happen if ever the opportunity arises. Doing something for myself. And not wait on others.
My friend is probably right. I have in some ways, become afraid to because unconsiously I am dependent. Dependent on a certain someone that spoke these promising words to me. But as the days, weeks, months.. years.. go by... those words are more distant than ever.
So, Is there one perfect person for every perfect being?

Thursday, March 08, 2007

This was my reading..

So, I tried this color test quiz online and it's pretty accurate.. atleast for my current situation...for something as simple as picking colors that fits youir mood in order of... preference...
This was my reading....

You are trying to prove to others that nothing can really affect you. You are pretending to be stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure and indeed even superior to any form of weakness. As a result, more often than not, you unfortunately act with undue harshness or severity by adopting an autocratic and self-willed attitude.
Being a somewhat gentle, emotional and sensitive person, you are at this time experiencing a considerable amount of tension. What you really need is someone who can be close to you and to listen to what you have to say.
You honestly believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, but there seems to be no one around to give you the necessary reassurance and encouragement. You are egocentric. You believe that you are always 'right' - well maybe you are but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.
There is considerable amount of stress present in your life at this time and this is perhaps due to some considerable mental and physical frustration. There are various physical needs that are necessary for your well-being but whatever the reasons - mostly of your own making - your needs are not being fulfilled. We wonder why? You are under the impression that nobody seems to care for you. This predicament is most uncomfortable and it is because of this that you are experiencing far more stress than you feel you can cope with. You need to find a soul mate - someone who truly understands you and whose standards are as high as your own. As matters stand you would like to break away from the vicious cycle that you find yourself entrapped but this is easier said than done. You refuse to compromise with your opinions and essentially you are unable to resolve the situation because you are continually postponing the making of the necessary decision. You are stubborn but this should be no deterrent experiencing a happy life.
Overwork - be it mental stress or physical strain, you are completely worn out and this depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel disappointed with your obvious lack of energy and powerless to do anything about it. You are angry with yourself and this frustration shows. You are contradictory and argumentative and feel helpless to change the situation at this time. Take a break - even if it is only for a few days - allow yourself to breath, to unwind - you'll feel much better for it. Then trust and let go.